Q: What platform does Oracle run best on?

A: Powerpoint.

(以前见过一个与此类似的版本：

Q. Which hardware platform does Oracle perform the best on?

A. A 35 mm slide projector.

)



Q. How long does it take to tune an Oracle database?

A. Nobody knows, it's never been done



Q. How do you best tune an Oracle database?

A. rm -rf $ORACLE_HOME