1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
　　A: Gifted!
　　
　　2. Q: How do blonde braincells die?
　　A: Alone.
　　
　　3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
　　A: Pregnant.
　　
　　4. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
　　A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
　　
　　5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
　　A: Artificial intelligence.
　　
　　6. Q: How does a blonde part their hair?
　　A1: (Action of scissoring legs apart)
　　A2: By doing the splits.
　　
　　7. Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
　　A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
　　
　　8. Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
　　A: Nothing. They've never met.
　　
　　9. Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
　　A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
　　
　　10. Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
　　A: After a dye job.
　　
　　11. Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
　　A1: She'd just dyed her hair.
　　A2: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around
　　too much.
　　
　　12. Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
　　A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
　　
　　13. Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
　　A: You can park in the handicap zone.
　　
　　14. Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment?
　　A: An IN-body experience!
　　
　　15. Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
　　A: They both get fucked up when they're on their back.
　　
　　16. Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a
　　recent car crash) and a blonde have in common?
　　A: Put either of 'em in a car and their fucked.
　　
　　17. Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
　　A: Humpme Dumpme.
　　
　　18. Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
　　A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
　　
　　19. Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
　　A: Shine a torch in her ears.
　　
　　20. Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
　　A: It takes too long to retrain them.
　　
　　21. Q1 How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
　　A: There's white-out on the screen.
　　Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
　　A: There's writing on the white-out.
　　
　　22. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
　　A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
　　
　　23. Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
　　A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go
　　down on you.
　　
　　24. Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?
　　A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.
　　
　　25. Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
　　A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!
　　
　　26. Q: How do you kill a blonde?
　　A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
　　
　　27. Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
　　A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
　　
　　28. Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello?
　　A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those
　　little packages.
　　
　　29. Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head?
　　A: All you can eat, under a buck.
　　
　　30. Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
　　A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.
　　
　　31. Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?
　　A1: They can't find the zipper.
　　A2: They cant find the pull tab.
　　
　　32. Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
　　A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
　　
　　33. Q: Why do blondes where big hoop earrings?
　　A: To put their feet through.
　　
　　34. Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
　　A: Her ankles.
　　
　　35. Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
　　A: Because red means stop.
　　
　　36. Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
　　A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."
　　
　　37. Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
　　A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers.
　　
　　38. Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators?
　　A: They chip their teeth.
　　
　　39. Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
　　A: They make good ankle warmers.
　　
　　40. Q: What do blondes do for foreplay?
　　A: Remove their underwear.
　　
　　41. Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
　　A: Cause their balls show!
　　
　　42. Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
　　A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"
　　
　　43. Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
　　A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"
　　
　　44. Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing?
　　A: She was run over by the zambonis machine.
　　
　　45. Q: What's a brunette's mating call?
　　A: Has that blonde gone yet?
　　A2: When is that blonde bitch going to leave!?
　　A3: "All the blondes have gone home!"
　　
　　46: Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?
　　A: Because they can spell it.
　　
　　47. Q: Why do blondes like the GST? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax now in
　　effect in Canada)
　　A: Because they can spell it.
　　
　　48. Q: What is 74 to a blonde?
　　A: 69 plus G.S.T.
　　
　　49. Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
　　A: Toes Go In First.
　　
　　50. Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
　　A: Tits Go In Front.
　　
　　51. Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
　　A: An interpreter.
　　
　　52. Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
　　A: A mental block.
　　
　　53. Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
　　A1: Blow in her ear.
　　A2: Buy her another beer.
　　
　　54. Q: What do you say to a blonde that won't give in?
　　A: "Have another beer."
　　
　　55. Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning?
　　A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.
　　
　　56. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
　　A1: Introduces themself.
　　A2: Walks home.
　　
　　57. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
　　A: Fertilized.
　　
　　58. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?
　　A: Unfertilized.
　　
　　59. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex?
　　A: Opens the car door.
　　
　　60. Q: How do blondes turn the light on after sex?
　　A: Kick open the car door.
　　
　　61. Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?
　　A: More head room.
　　
　　62. Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
　　A: More leg room.
　　
　　63. Q: What is the worst thing about sex with a blonde?
　　A: Bucket seats.
　　
　　64. Q: What do blondes say after sex?
　　A1: "Thanks, Guys!"
　　A2: "Are you boys all in the same band?"
　　A3: Do you guys all play for the < team name>?
　　A4: Who were all those guys?
　　
　　65. Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
　　A: Because everybody gets a turn.
　　
　　66. Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
　　A: Because she's been laid all over the country.
　　
　　67. Q: What important question does a blonde ask her mate before having sex?
　　A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate?
　　
　　68. Q: Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?
　　A: *Who cares?*
　　
　　69. Q: Why do blondes have orgasms?
　　A: So they know when to stop having sex!
　　
　　70. Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
　　A1: She drops her nail-file!
　　A2: Who cares?
　　A3: She says, "Next".
　　A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
　　A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
　　A6: I mean, who really cares?
　　A7: The batteries have run out.
　　
　　71. Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
　　A: "Thanks for the refill!"
　　
　　72. Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
　　A: Data transfer.
　　
　　73. Q: Why do blondes use tampons with extra long strings?
　　A: So the crabs can go bungee-jumping.
　　
　　74. Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
　　A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering
　　what she did with her pencil.
　　
　　75. Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her
　　nametag) ?
　　A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"
　　
　　76. Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
　　A1: Because they don't know any better.
　　A2: They are easier to keep amused.
　　
　　77. Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
　　A1: "What's a lightbulb?"
　　A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
　　A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
　　
　　78. Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine?
　　A: "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!"
　　
　　79. Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
　　A: A wine cellar.
　　
　　80. Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes?
　　A: Peroxide.
　　
　　81. Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?
　　A: They're doing research on black holes.
　　
　　82. Q: What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?
　　A1: They both have a black box.
　　A2: Both have a cockpit.
　　
　　83. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a 747?
　　A: Not everyone has been in a 747.
　　
　　84. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a limousine?
　　A: Not everybody has been in a limo.
　　
　　85. Q: What does a blonde say when she gives birth?
　　A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine?
　　
　　86. Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
　　A: "Are you sure it's mine?"
　　
　　87. Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
　　A: A wind tunnel.
　　
　　88. Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
　　A: A dope ring.
　　
　　89. Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart
　　blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill.
　　Who picks it up?
　　A1: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus,
　　the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.
　　A2: None of them. There is no such thing as Santa Claus, the Tooth
　　Fairy or a smart blonde and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum
　　wrapper.
　　
　　90. Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
　　A: To see what was on the other side.
　　
　　91. Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
　　A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
　　
　　92. Q: Why do blondes take the pill?
　　A: So they know what day of the week it is.
　　
　　93. Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
　　A: Because it kept falling out.
　　
　　94. Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
　　A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!
　　
　　95. Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the
　　ground first?
　　A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
　　
　　96. Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
　　A: Her IQ goes up!
　　
　　97. Q: What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde?
　　A: A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.
　　
　　98. Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
　　A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.
　　
　　99. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
　　A: You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.
　　
　　100. Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
　　A: Butter is difficult to spread