部分转载：

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
（自从上次汇报后，你的孩子一落千丈，而且还在一个劲儿地往下挖。）

2. I would not allow this student to breed.
（我不会容许这个学生繁衍后代。）

3. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
（你的孩子剥夺了某村庄拥有傻子的权力。）

4. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
（你的儿子对自己的要求很低，但还是无法达到。）

5. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
（这个学生脑子里少根弦儿！）

6. This child has been working with glue too much.
（这个孩子和浆糊打交道的时间太长了。）

7. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
（当你的女儿智商达到50时，她才有前/钱途。）

8. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
（门开了，灯在闪，可是不见火车来。）

9. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
（如果这个学生再笨一点儿的话，他得需要一周被浇两次水了。）

10. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
（难以相信生成这个孩子的精子曾击败了百万大军。）

11. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.
（轮子还在转，可仓鼠绝对死了。）